This is such a controversial subject in 2020 and it really is not. Femininity truly means something different to each woman or person who identifies as a female. Femininity is free. There’s no hard/fast rules anymore on what being femme is. That’s a pretty groovy thing. However, when modern women want to still abide by a more traditional female roles which play into their femininity that should also still stand. Especially now that we have the right to choose what we stand for independently.

Femininity is about the healthy boundaries we create to feel the most respected in our own lives and bodies. That includes everything from how we present ourselves to how we act. 

Here is a quick list of things to do to embrace your own femininity if you aren’t already do so. Men, you can also take notes here.

Your skin is the biggest organ on your body. Take care of it. Women have more hormonal fluctuations than men. Period and I mean this also literally. Due to our biological make up and our monthly period our skin goes through more changes than men typically do. Men need to care of their skin too. However, women have to dedicate a bit more time, effort and money into this purely due to our biological up. Therefore it’s important for us as women to take care of our skin. Your stuck in it for the rest of your natural-born life. Everyone has different skin but that doesn’t mean everyone can’t have a more healthy complexion. If you don’t take care of your skin it cannot take care of you. Going to an esthetician is your first step to getting the skin you deserve.

I cannot tell you enough how many women I see on the slump. This goes for men as well especially now that most people are behind a computer screen all day. By letting your body succumb to the slump you are setting yourself up to become a hunchback in your golden years. The thing about most hunch backs is that they are preventable. Slumping degrades your natural shape and your spinal column. 

Everyday you have an opportunity to express yourself. The first thing people see is how we look. It’s in our nature to dissect people first based on looks and second based on how they make us feel. Why not make the effort to make a good first impression. For yourself before anyone else you should want to feel and look good. It takes zero time to throw together a sloppy outfit. It takes 10 to refine your style and put something together that suits you. You can easily determine what body type you have in a quick internet search and dress appropriately for you shape. Most women have no clue what body type they have which is the biggest factor in them not dressing their personal best. Personal style is personal. It’s the most telling thing about who you are on the inside. Dressing your personal best is a great way to embrace your body, shape and feminine side.

Wendy O Williams did it her way in the 70’s

Grace Jones did it her way in the 80’s

Madonna did it her way in the 90’s

How can you live a more Erotic lifestyle your way in 2020?  The key to living an erotic lifestyle is the ability to turn on yourself. Erotica doesn’t mean having sex either. Sex is the verb. Erotica is the noun. Erotica is everything that comes before and after the act of sex. This is why the women I listed above where so revered in their eras so sexual expression. They where doing it for their own purposes of self discovery. This includes how you dress, how you feel about yourself, and what turns you on. We can all benefit from living more erotically because it means we are living for things that turn us on. Not living for others or what turns other people on. It’s not about seeking validation from the outside world. It’s about validating yourself! That is a god damn beautiful thing. Harnessing your own energy to affirm your own sexual being is something not taught in Sexual Education. Yet, it’s exactly what hormonal teens should be learning about in school before they go out seeking sexual validation from others after being brainwashed by mainstream media in school. It’s time to realize that sexuality comes in all forms and is about discovery far before it’s about sex itself. 

Here are my top 3 way to attain erotic lifestyle for one’s self below.

I don’t care if your going to bed or going to a meeting. When you are wearing undergarments that feel good on your body it enhances personal joy. Making the extra effort to throw out old garments and buy new undergarments (recommended annually based on wear) means you will always have something exciting to wear. When wearing lingerie is something you can appreciate doing for you is when your living erotically.

I cannot stress this enough. Pick your partners wisely. We live in a hookup culture. Everything (due to apps) is moving at a much more rapid pace than ever before. The human mind has not evolved to process emotions as quickly as the IOS, Smartphone or Computer has already processed your algorithms. People expect sex before a connection. When the connection is what leads to good sex (sex just leads to sex). If you cannot find the right partner then do it yourself! You put yourself at higher risk for gender violence and STD’s by sleeping with strangers. As fun as it is to have sexual experiences with others the one that is most important is your sexual relationship with yourself.  Just because it seems like you have a lot of options doesn’t mean that those options are good for us. They’re just options. Instead of swiping to the next profile get better acquainted with yourself.

If you can’t please yourself how the hell do you expect to please anybody else?

I do this as much as possible. When you can date yourself then you truly need no one else to make you whole. Whoever you may find becomes a bonus to your already happy,whole, lifestyle. I go to the movies by myself, I go to dinner by myself, I go to shows by myself. I can do anything I want with or without company. It’s a beautiful thing because now the world is yours for the taking. When you aren’t constantly out with others you have time to have independence. Independence of thought and influence which is crucial to form your own opinions around people, places and things. When you take yourself out for a 5 star meal you can taste the food better. Why? Because you’re not talking in between bites. Your totally involved in that moment with.. you guessed it. Yourself.

All of these these points listed above both apply to you whether your single/taken. Stop attaching all your joy to any one person/thing. We can do a lot more for ourselves while still embracing our own femininity. We don’t have to play more masculine roles, we need to play up what we are born with and dial-up our erotic independence.

Let me know what you do to live a more erotic lifestyle below or by using #metalmouthstyle on Instagram. 

 About Me: My name is Tiffini Truth and I’m a Metal Artist living in Tijuana. I also adore writing. Specifically about life, style and sustainability .